Whilst out walking around York with Clifford a week last Wednesday I decided it would be nice to get some pussy willows for Fiona to cheer her up because she has on and off been pretty ill over the last few months. My inspiration for this was getting some for her last year which came about because I noticed several women between around 25 and 35 walking around the centre of York clutching bunches of pussy willow's and I swear they all looked like primary school teachers which they probably were because primary school teachers do tend to have a "look" I should know after all because I have been looking at one for the last 23 years.

Well on that dubious knowledgebase and the more sounder one which is that Fiona over all of the time that I have known has at this time of the year stopped the car when we have been going down a country lane and dashed up to the nearest tree which had pussy willows and neatly cut down a few of them for the particular nature table in her classroom. Over the years because of the ecological unfriendliness of this act, a possible contravention of the Countryside and Wildlife legislation and just the general way it looks to the public i.e. a maniacal primary school teacher doing a gurrilla raid on various trees, as well as my having to stop her carrying a 12 inch Bowie knife in her rucksack at this time of the year, that being the most effective means and swiftness to sever these hapless pussy willows from the parent tree, I thought it wiser that I should now start purchasing these things for her.

Of course she absolutely loves pussy willows and the ones I brought back last year put me in her good books for most of the year and amazingly enough they have been on our kitchen table alive and well for all that year. In terms of longevity our marriage, relationship and pussy willows seem to have something in common. But anyway, I also thought this was a good time to show Clifford what a thoughtful husband I am and we looked around the York Market to get some pussy willows which we did, four pounds for 10 and they were nice big bushy ones as well which I knew Fiona would really like. I also gave Clifford my little speech, lecture, explanation that it is nice to do things out of total love for your wife, have the purest of motives, but also see and understand that there are tangible benefits from such actions as well in terms of stupid things you may do viewed in a more benevolent light and so on. I also said that his mum would just be absolutely delighted with these.

When we got back home Fiona was still feeling woozy and was crashed out in bed so I strode up the stairs and gave her a nudge out of her doziness and showed her the pussy willows and she was absolutely delighted and did exactly what I said to Clifford she would do she sort of stroked and fingered them and said how beautiful they were. Amazing! These little biological marriage savers are on the kitchen table right in front of me now and they seem to have some sort of yellow pollen all over them which has just appeared no doubt to be distributed by the wind because there are no bees around at this time of the year and I hope these big fat pussy willows last the whole year as well as a good hedge and buffer to Fiona's doghouse reactions when I get in trouble. Pussy willows: amen!