From when Miles was a toddler until we left York in 1996 Ian I saw a lot of Mums having a really hard time with their babies and toddlers. I felt for them and one said  she had not  had a nights sleep for three years. Fortunately I'd started to practice diplomacy then and didn't till her that since Miles was 42 days old we had had 6 disturbed nights. Some Mums  asked me about this and I said it was  about knowing when to respond and when not : distinguishing between the various sorts of cries.

 My mother in law told me this because she'd done it with Fiona and her sister. The few time Miles did cry it was  usually because of the surprise of waking up in the dead of night . I'd  watch the clock , 5 minutes go past and he was straight back to sleep. It ocurred to me then that instantly responding to a babies cry doesn't give them the chance to figure out what they want to do. If the Mum charges in and the baby is going back to sleep again she wakes the poor soul up and naturally there is a lot of crying . The more the Mum does this , the baby gets trained to cry . I will never talk about this to a woman again after mentioning it to some in York. Nearly got strangled with a breast feeding bra once. Yuk! After all , a man doesn't know how to look after a baby does he?! As I said to the lads " Bring your babies up like doggies but don't expect them to be as intelligent!".